Isabella the hoarder

When should you start to get worried that your child has a hoarding problem? 

Once Isabella started sleeping in her bed, she slept with her pink glow-worm in her bed.  Yes, even when she was a baby - we also used bumpers too ... don't judge.  Once Silas was born and her crib was moved into her own room she slept with her music toy (just the music part of a baby crib mobile - see right) and her glow-worm, a pillow and a blanket.  A review of this mobile is coming because this has been one of Isabella's favorite items ever.  She still listens to this music every single night before going to bed.  She seemed fine with that and has usually been awesome about going in her crib and putting herself to sleep.  I feel compelled to say that we do not practice cry-it-out; we have been blessed with kids who fall asleep easily. 

 A few months ago she started asking to take a toy with her when she went to bed.  At first it was cute.  It was a baby here and a stuffed animal there.  However, we quickly realized that it was impossible to remove that item in the morning.  It was like asking her to pull off one of her own toe nails to get the stuffed animal back out.  And don't even think about saying no that she couldn't take something to bed.  Complete toddler meltdown. 

We let it go on for some time until it became a game for her.  Once you would tell her that it was time for bed, she would gather up every toy that she saw from the place that she was standing until she got to her bed.  Sometimes she would tell you that it was too heavy and ask you to carry it for her.  This got ridiculous quick.  Mom would clean out the bed in the morning and by the afternoon Isabella had amassed an entirely new set of items in or around the bed to be taken into bed during nap time. 

Eventually we had to put our foot down and tell her that she couldn't take things to bed with her anymore.  Corry and I talked about it before hand that we would leave the items in her bed that were already in there, but we would limit the new items that she would be allowed to take in there.  This was a lot easier said than done because a screaming, crying toddler is fairly persuasive around bedtime.  Lately we have been able to just tell her that we are going to lay down with Rosie (super cheap Target baby named after the younger sister on Cailou) and she will be fine. 

She still has quite a few items in bed including several blankets.  More specifically she has all of these items (except the two frames): 



3 pillows, three blankets and herself in bed with her at all times.  From what I heard, this is normal, right?  On one hand, I feel like we are raising a hoarder by allowing her to do this.  However, on the other hand, if it isn't hurting her, it isn't stopping her from sleeping and it's comforting her at night, why should I take these items away from her?  I am inclined to leave them alone and let her have them in her bed. 

If we are truly raising a future hoarder, at least right now she is collecting cute items and she looks so precious doing it!

-Sara

Bed times

This is a second part to yesterday's post re: naps... and it's *drum roll please* ....

bedtimes. 

Who would have known that what time you put your own children to bed would be such a touchy subject?  In the last few days, I have seen some very judge-y mcjudge-erson mothers chastise another mother who had her babies up with her at like 11pm.  "Babies need to be asleep at the very latest 8pm or they will (insert something bad here)" or some other nonsense, because of course as a bystander they automatically know more than the child's own mother. 

Side note: this "I know more about how you should raise your children than you do" idea is too big to be covered in this one blog.  I will touch on that one more later...

Corry and I talked about this bedtime issue in depth before we had kids.  I always had a bedtime when I was growing up and he was totally the opposite.  I just always assumed that kids needed bedtimes and that they should be strict from one household to the next.  As usual though, everything that I thought about having kids has been challenged with my two.  We both have to work full time jobs to support our family and knew that we would continue to work those full time jobs after we had children.  After much discussion, it was decided that we would keep our kids up as long as we were awake so they would (hopefully) sleep while we were sleeping and this works for our family. 

I have lots of friends that I see post things like "my kids woke up at 5am" and those are often times the same parents who will put their kids to bed at like 7:30pm.  I don't understand how that makes sense to someone, but who am I to judge?  Maybe you like to be tortured by as few hours of sleep as possible?  Maybe you like to play a wild game of Russian Roulette to figure out how many hours of sleep you can miss before you turn into a stark raving lunatic? 

As is often the case, the best (in my opinion) solution is often the easiest.  In my opinion, it makes sense to hold your kids awake as close as possible to the time that you are going to bed, so they will hopefully sleep when you are sleeping.  Why torture yourself?  Don't fight against your instincts just because society tells you that your children should go to bed at a certain time.

I understand that this will not work for everyone.  We are VERY blessed to have my amazing mother come to our house to watch our kids and Addison during the day, so we don't have to worry about waking our kids up at the crack of dawn to get them to daycare or anything like that.  I also understand that some people might like the peace at the end of the day to spend with their significant other.  Corry and I are both sleepers and would rather spend time catching up on sleep or talking in bed then watching a movie or something like that at the end of the day.  To each his own...  

With that being said, I put my babies to bed when they are tired, and/or when I am ready to go to bed.  I find that I don't have to fight them as much to get them in bed, and I get to sleep in a bit later in the morning too.   But that's what works for us...   As long as you find something that works for your family and you are happy and healthy, that's what should matter to other people. 

-Sara