An open letter to weirdos

Dear strange people,

Hey you!  Yes, you.  The creepy guy who just approached me in the Target parking lot and asked how we were enjoying the weather.  And you - the old lady who just put your finger in my child's mouth in Walmart.  And finally you - the insane waitress at Red Hot and Blue who took my child's photo to show her boyfriend what she wanted her kids to look like.  Yes, all of you.  This is a letter to you. 

I know my children are 100% adorable.  They are (mostly) well behaved in public places.  My daughter eats with utensils like a pro, uses a napkin, says please, thank you and excuse me when appropriate and says bye to people leaving by our table.  She can walk in stores without being a pest and can be calmed down with any distraction.  My son is a shameless flirt with anyone and everyone with a heartbeat who will show him any bit of attention.  He is a good eater, even in public and can be quieted down with a pacifier. 

I say all of that to let you know that just because they don't throw constant tantrums, are cute, and look in your direction doesn't mean that you should be a complete and total weirdo.  Based on your recent behavior, it has become obviously apparent to me that I need to address some 'to do's' and 'don'ts' when it comes to your behavior and other people's children.  (None of this applies to your own children.  Feel free to act totally like a weirdo around them.) 

To Do:

1. Do ASK before getting anywhere near my children.  I never really understood this before having children but since my kids were born I now understand the 'momma bear' mentality and I do not want strangers near my children or near me when I have my children.  I don't want you approaching us when I am getting them into or out of the car for any reason.  I don't want you to distract me for any reason while I am alone with my children because even though you might be totally innocent, in my head I am replaying all the news stories that I have heard recently about children being kidnapped or trying to memorize your facial features while you talk to be able to describe you to police later.  Also, especially during the cold and flu season, I don't want you or your gross germs in my family's air space.  Back up.  I was never a person who spoke to strangers before I was married and had kids and certainly am not willing to start that now.   
2. Do act like a goof.  I don't care if you smile, wave, make a dumb face, tell a story, dance like a monkey, whatever you want to do to entertain my child or get them to look at you, so long as it's from a distance.  My son will put on a show and do every 'trick' that he knows in the book to get attention from strangers and I appreciate the older people who indulge him in restaurants and in stores.  Even tonight, he waved at other patrons, servers and the cleaning crew at the restaurant like he was an air traffic controller bringing down a plane.  He has a good time and you can have a good time without me feeling uncomfortable.       
3. Do understand that sometimes kids don't want attention and that's OK.  Sometimes my kids are in what I call the "stranger danger zone" and they don't want you to talk to them or try to get their attention.  If that is the case, please don't try to convince them otherwise.  Just accept like kids aren't going to be "on" 24 hours a day.  They just wake up from naps... their favorite cartoon wasn't on TV today... they didn't get to watch the movie that they wanted to in the car.  You continuing the try to engage them is tiring for them and for me.  Please don't force them to try to interact with you.  That just makes my life suck for the next ten minutes trying to get them to calm down and not be freaked out that you are going to come by and try to talk to them again. 

Don't:

1. Don't ever touch my child... ever.  I swear, when my children were infants, anytime I took my them out people felt the need to touch them.  It didn't matter if we were in the grocery store, restaurants, public bathrooms, etc. there was always someone trying to touch them.  I finally started wearing my daughter in a Moby wrap after an elderly woman put her fingers in my daughter's mouth for her to use a chew toy.  I never thought about touching anyone else's children so I never understood this.  Whatever germs you have are now transferred to my child and I would prefer that to not happen again in the future.  I should have had one of those signs about not touching my kid on their stroller.  This is a cute one from http://happysignsurprise.com     
2. Don't be afraid to look at them but don't be creepy.  I like when people compliment my children.  They like when you compliment them.  I was fine with you walking by like 19 extra times since you were our server and I need extra things since I have two small children.  But when you came up to us and asked if you could take a picture of our child because you wanted your boyfriend to see what you wanted your children to look like.. that was a bit strange. 
3. This should go without saying, but don't be gross.  Don't try to get anything off of my child with your spit.  Don't try to stick your fingers in my child's mouth so they can use them as a chew toy.  Don't offer to share your food and drink with my child because they won't know any better.  

In closing, please just use your brain around any children that aren't yours. 

Sincerely,

me and any other parent

- by the way -
this is based on actual events over the last two years 

Teething baby + Sick Toddler = awesome day

Silas turned 1 on December 31st.  He is my last baby.  We will cover the sadness around that subject sometime in the future.  For now, let's just say that he is enduring the worst part of baby/toddlerhood - teething.  Specifically cutting molars.  I have always told someone that if it was possible for babies to cut all of their teeth in like two days, I would much rather that happen.  Unfortunately it does not. 

We are currently on day 5ish of molars coming in.  Let's regress a second and relive our lives months ago when Silas cut his other eight teeth in like two weeks.  He gets a fever, is up ALL NIGHT, and just generally a ridiculously cranky baby for days.  Isabella was never a problem with teething.  No fighting, no crying, no whining or anything.  We always attributed it to the amber teething necklace that she wore.  I have told my husband that we should have Silas look like Mr. T with so many amber necklaces to combat his teething.  We have one on him that he has worn solid since he was about 2 months.  Please don't judge - I am the worst amber owner ever.  I don't take it off of them ever... I don't wash it... I don't sun it... he just wears it.  I am currently researching how I should go about washing it but I am kind of afraid to remove it because of how he will react.  Currently he doesn't even seem to notice it and I don't want to draw attention to it in any form or fashion. 

So, we are on about 5 days of not sleeping for Silas, me and my husband.  Needless to say our house is in an awesome mood. Because the universe sometimes likes to throw all kinds of fun at you at the same time, Isabella woke up this morning and said that her ear was hurting.  I got instantly anxious because she has had HORRIBLE double ear infections before and not said anything about pain.  After a doctor appointment for the both of them it is determined to be nothing serious except teething for cranky baby, ear infection for Isabella and totally shot day for mommy.

Today is the day before Silas's first birthday party.  I have a million and one things to do.  I am finally getting a second to breathe after making a cake from scratch, cake balls, prepped fruit salad, prepper the dip for tomorrow, cleaned the kitchen, made the banners and got as much prepped as possible for the food tomorrow.  I hope to be able to take some pictures and post them tomorrow.  For now, I am going to pass out while the second cake cooks. 

-Sara

Resolution #1: Have more patience today than I did yesterday

Patience can be defined, after a simple Google search as, "The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset."  It sounds simple, right?  But it's not.  At least not for me.  I am, by my nature, not the *most* impatient person in the world... however that person would look at me sometimes and go "Damn, can she just chill?" 

I have read books on how to be more patient.  I know my triggers.  And yet, I have been unable to change in previous years.  Before kids and marriage, I never really cared that I wasn't patient.  Part of that impatience is useful at my job because I can accomplish tasks faster and since a lot of my job doesn't rely on actions of others than it isn't necessary to show my most patient self.  At home, my dogs didn't care that I wasn't the most patient of people... they loved me anyways.  Now, since getting married and especially since having kids, I feel like it is more important than ever for me to have more patience.  My husband deserves for me to be chill and not be so upset when things don't exactly go my way immediately.  My kids deserve for me to let them play as loud as they want or do something wrong multiple times before figuring out the best way to accomplish a task.  I owe that to them. 

I understand that this resolution is probably considered cheating since there is really no measurable goal.  There is no way to qualify or quantify the results that I will get from this resolution.  Strike that... my happiness, my children's happiness, and my husband's happiness will be the proof that this resolution is in the process of being accomplished.  But it will be a work in progress.  It IS a work in progress. 

So how will I work through this resolution?  Some people would suggest deep breathing... some would suggest counting to 10.  I have a different idea... During my preparation for my two labors, I learned from multiple sources the importance of using affirmations and belief suggestions to remind your brain that you could accomplish a certain task (delivering a healthy baby as naturally as possible in that case.)  I will utilize that same philosophy here.  I wasn't sure of what I was going to use until I was typing this post.  As I have been writing "slow to anger" has continually popped up into my head.  I will take this as a hint from God that I should use that.  I will use that belief suggestion to remind myself of this resolution anytime that I feel myself getting out of control. 

I am using this as a note and a reminder to follow up in March with how these resolutions are going.  Until then wish me luck that a more patient me emerges starting today.       

Non-resolutions

So I am sure that everyone has experienced this... December 15-ish, if not before, you start to get nervous thinking about your "resolutions" for the following year.  Almost everyone will include at least one about "Exercise more" or "Lose x amount of weight".  Most people do really well in January, possibly on into February.  Gym memberships *and* attendance at said gym are up, I can imagine, like 100 fold in the beginning of the year.  Then slowly you start to get busy.  You start to make excuses like you are too tired after work.  You are too tired before work.  You forgot your gym clothes.  You took the stairs twice today and that should count as exercise.  The next time you think about it a month has gone by, then two months, and then all of a sudden you can't even remember when you saw the inside of the gym yet.  You are not alone.  You are certainly not the only one who fails at resolutions and goals that they make at the beginning of the year. 

Why is it that we fail at goals, wishes and wants for ourselves that we are SO passionate about at one time during the year?  Why is it that at the beginning of the year we have so much faith in ourselves and our abilities that we are willing to stake our future year's worth of happiness on the smallest statements?  It seems as if we are doomed to fail if we claim those statements as goals that we are interested in achieving.  It's like we, as humans, need our subconscious to trick us into achieving these goals by not putting them out there in the open.  That, perhaps, we need something like subliminal advertising to help us out with these resolutions as most people during the year will not keep even one of their resolutions.  I know that, in the past, most of the time by May I would have forgotten what any of my resolutions were from the beginning of the year. 

This year I decided that I wasn't going to participate in this "tradition" of making a decision at the beginning of the year that I was going to fail at throughout the year.  Instead, I am reviewing my life now, in February, for little things that I would like to either change or start doing that are manageable, because let's be reasonable... I have a husband... I have 4 children, 2 of which live with me full time and are under 2... I have a full time job that I love enough to want to spend more than 40 hours at... I don't have time for "change the world" type resolutions. 

However, I *do* have time for the following resolutions:

1. Have more patience today than I did yesterday
2. Utilize the parts of Once a Month Cooking that work for our family
3. Write a blog post everyday for at least 30 days
4. Become a better money saver

I am going to attempt to start #3 today.  I will utilize one blog post each to explain the four and their importance and significance to me in my life today.