Tips for road trips with children

We have taken several short road trips with all of our children before.  Usually they don't require much planning or foresight.  For our family vacation this year, we planned to drive from our home in DFW, Texas to the cruise port in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Plotting this drive out on an online directions service, it shows 8-9 hours one way.  Because we are traveling with small children, we planned for this to take roughly 11 hours.  The idea of 5 people in an SUV together for 11 hours was enough to make me crazy before we ever left. 

I started reading up on ways to lessen the pain of a road trip with small children and annoying husbands.  Strangely enough, there was similar advice on both subjects!  The following are my tips for a positive road trip experience:

- Gifts, bribes and surprises, oh my! 
I packed a small backpack of small toys and cheap gifts to pass out to the kids in times of boredom and freak outs.  I surprised my teenager with a new pair of headphones before the trip since she would be sitting in the back seat with the two younger kids and I knew that she would need them.  They also came in handy when she wanted to sleep and couldn't handle the music that we were listening to. 

Days before the trip, I made several shopping trips to Target and Walmart for little trinkets.  I bought sticker packages, those bags with small surprise toys in them, a cheap Barbie and Ken set, etc.  We didn't have to use as much stuff out of the backpack as I thought that we would, but it definitely came in handy in stressful navigation times. 

I would recommend raiding the dollar section at any store like that for little toys and play things for the kids on the road trip.  You won't feel bad about them losing or breaking them and they will be excited about new toys, even if they get thrown away at the end of the trip. 

One of my friends on Facebook showed a picture of her traveling recently on a road trip and she had this ingenious travel desk situation set up for her children.  It was awesome!  That would enable the kids to color or read books without dropping pieces on the floor or agitating the neighboring child with their activities. 

- Drive while they sleep
Early in the planning of the road trip, my husband and I made a crucial decision.  We were going to align our travel plans so all of the children would sleep for the majority of the drive to Louisiana.  My mother had planned to take the younger children for the day before the trip so we could finish our last minute prep items and they could visit with them before their big vacation.  My mother and I speak several times every day and I think that this cruise was very stressful for her this time, because she could not check up on all of us until it was over.  The idea of her taking the children to her house was awesome also because it helped me to sleep during the late evening because I would be taking the first driving shift. 

We kept the kids up until we left, which was almost 1am.  They thought this was awesome because normally we make them go to bed before then and they felt special and jazzed up because of all of the energy in the air.  My son was so tired though that he was falling asleep as I was putting him in his car seat in the car.  The plan was to keep them up late, get them in their comfy pajamas, bring blankets from their beds and put them to sleep as we were taking off from the house.  Both of my younger children are still rear facing in their seats, so they are at more of a recline than other more conventional forward facing car seats.  I do think that this would have caused more of the 'dead puppet head' look if they were forward facing and might not have been as comfortable for them.  Warning: This is dangerous for anyone who is a notoriously sleepy driver or who can't stay awake when everyone else in the car is asleep.  Use your own judgment to determine if this works out for your family. 

The kids slept until about 8-8:30am, which put us only about a few hours away from the hotel.  They were well rested and ready for the day with only a bit of grogginess from being in the car.  By the time, that we got to our hotel for an early check in, my husband and I were more than ready for a nap and some relaxation time.  The kids turned on the television and zoned out for a bit while we napped for a few hours.  Trust me when I say that a bit of tiredness on your part is worth it compared to the torture of dealing with a steady stream of "Are we there yet?", "I'm bored", etc.


- Rest and stretch stops are mandatory!
Just like it is not healthy for you to be still in the car for hours on end, it is also not healthy for children to be that way.  Plus, it's uncomfortable!  Your children will be much happier if every few hours they are allowed to get out, run around and blow off some of the pent up steam that has been building.  And you will definitely be happier if they are happier.  I scheduled our breakfast stop at a place that I knew was loud and boisterous and wouldn't mind rowdy children.  They also have a large front lawn and rocking chairs for the kids to use as entertainment.  I also knew that they would eat well and would be full and ready to tackle the remaining few hours drive. 

On the way home, we planned the same thing.  We drove for a bit, then stopped for a restroom break - which seems to always happen with two relatively newly potty trained toddlers.  Everyone got out, used the restroom, stretched their legs, meandered back towards the car and away we went.  It also helps that I have very sleepy car riders.  It doesn't seem like we are in the car more than 5-10 minutes before they fall asleep, but they were definitely ready for the break and the walk around when it presented itself. 

This doesn't have to be a planned out thing.  If you notice that your children are getting antsy, pull off into a rest stop, find a local park, find a McDonalds play place, etc.  Anything where your child can have a break from the car and their seat for a bit.  They should run and stretch and just let loose for 5-10 minutes at minimum every few hours. 

- Have a steady supply of travel friendly drinks and snacks

In a previous post, I mentioned that we brought our own water bottles on our cruise.  We packed three of them in our carry on bag for my teenager, my husband and myself.  We used the other two as drink bottles for the kids in the car.  We stopped and filled up with Gatorade - my children's favorite drink (please don't start about how unhealthy it is - they like it and this trip was a vacation and not a health camp!).  We used the Contigo water bottles.  I like Contigo because they don't spill even when turned upside down and shaken - Silas decided to test that out for them one time in the car.  They also can be used without the straws.  I knew that I was going to have limited access to cleaning tools and wouldn't be able to properly clean out those pesky straws that come with the cups, so we left them at home.  They don't work the same way, but they still function.

We bought NutriGrain bars, chips, tiny bags of cereal, cheese sticks, etc. anytime that we stopped.  I bought anything that I knew was tiny and could be consumed by tiny hands without much assistance.  If I would have been a better preparer, I could have had a stash of prepared snacks for the car ride.  I am making a mental note to do that next time.  But then how am I going to indulge my road trip Combos habit? 

Yes, constantly feeding and giving your children drinks in the car means that you will have to pull over more for restroom breaks, but I find that is better for small kids because that gives them a chance to get out and makes them overall more happy to be traveling. 

I have learned a lot myself from this road trip and will utilize these tips in the future when planning another trip.  Road trips with children of any age is not impossible, but it does require planning, patience and creativity for the continuing sanity of all people involved. 

What are you tips for road tripping with children?

SMALL Update: Silas 19 months

So, I wanted to start doing monthly updates for my children.  Mostly so I would have their milestones and stats documented somewhere since I am AWFUL about writing in a baby book.  Every month I will cover a SMALL (Statistics, Milestones, Attitude, Learning, Likes/Dislikes) update for each of my children.  Recent photos will also be included every month.  Let me know how your little ones compare! 

Statistics:

                Weight: 28lbs

                Shoe Size: 5

                Clothes: 18-24 months

Milestones:

                Silas has always been an ‘early’ baby with the exception of speaking and being born.  He sat up, stood, walked, and cut teeth early.  He is cutting at least one of his 2 year molars right now and has been for at least a month.  He has all of his other teeth.  He is currently completely weaned from a pacifier.  See other blogs here and here about that torture.  He is currently back into climbing, especially climbing into the car.  This is getting him into trouble during the day though climbing on top of the tables, his sister’s chairs, etc.  He is very adventurous and is definitely a boy, as evidenced by how rough he plays and acts, and his constant state of being filthy.  He is eating with silverware at almost every meal and can 100% feed himself with a spoon and a fork.  He builds with blocks, is capable of bringing items to you on command and can’t point to certain body parts when prompted.  He eats really well and is an excellent sleeper.  He goes to sleep at anywhere between 8pm and 9pm, and generally wakes up after 7:30am.  He also usually has 2-3 naps during the day and falls asleep without assistance.  He has just recently started drinking out of a sippy cup with a straw.  He mainly uses a water bottle style drinking cup or a normal sippy cup.  He is beginning to figure out how to take shoes and clothes on and off, he can brush his hair, and he gets his own snack out of the pantry.  Silas hates riding in the car.  He is miserable with any longer than a 15 minute car ride and doesn’t fall asleep in the car unless he is covered with a blanket and all the stars align.  He is now capable of letting you know when he needs a diaper change and he normally will approach you with a diaper and possibly some wipes.  He is now very interested in throwing trash away and putting plates in the sink.   

Attitude:

                As is his normal, Silas was early into the ‘terrible twos’ phase.  He is very headstrong and has an awful attitude when prompted.  He is very angry sometimes and has no problems displaying that angry to anyone.  He is very jealous of attention being paid to another person and will not hesitate to use violence to get what he wants.  On the other hand, he is very sweet when he wants to be.  He is quick to hug and make up.  When one of them hurts the other and does something that isn’t particularly friendly that they get in trouble for, of course they get a punishment of some sort depending upon the level of how awful they were being at the time.  When they are finished with their punishment, we make them go and hug the offended party.  Silas is normally down to hug.  Sometimes he follows that up with a slap to the face, but normally he is a sweet boy.  He is a big momma’s boy, especially when approached by strangers or scary situations.  He has a lot of fears, which is pretty common for this age, so we knew what to expect.  He is very afraid of his baby monitor in his room and has a strong fear of a lot of things right now, like strange animals, loud noises, hand dryers in bathrooms, etc.  Silas has very strong ‘stranger danger’ feelings, especially with men and even with men that he sees on a regular basis.  He is able to generally warm up to strangers that are women but he absolutely is not going to warm up to a lot of men that he doesn’t know or doesn’t see every day.

Learning:

                Silas is a ‘normal’ boy according to my pediatrician in that he is a relatively slow talker, meaning he doesn’t say many words.  He has the ability to say and can say about 20 words when prompted that aren’t names.  However, on a daily basis he uses about 5, not including this ‘nanu’ word that he uses for everything.  He is very intelligent though and so I have no doubts that he will be fine.  He knows almost all of his body parts that you teach at this age like arms, belly, belly button, head, eyes, etc.  He is now capable of operating an iPhone and can turn on his favorite PBS or Disney Jr. shows without assistance.  He gets very proud of himself when he learns a new skill and is very happy to show it off.  He loves to be read to and loves to interact with you while you read to him. 

Likes/Dislikes:

                Silas likes:           

                       Muslin blankets

                       Nutrigrain bars

                       Anything pink

                Silas dislikes:

             Car rides

                             Shoes and socks

                             Hats

Top 10 favorite toddler toys

Before I had children I wondered how parents acquired millions of toys.  I knew that you would buy them one at a time and over time end up with some through birthday parties and things like that but I never really thought about where all these toys would go, if my children would play with them or how much I would want to get rid of 99% of them.  Here is a list of the top ten things that I find them reaching for the most. There are other items that are being left off, like books and random stuffed animals that I will cover in another post. I have listed a price from a certain store with each item. This isn’t necessarily the cheapest price or the price that we paid or even the store that we purchased from. A lot of these toys were either gifts or we have had them for some time or I can’t recall the exact place we buy our toys from. I am only listing one place – you can use http://www.google.com for other places that you could buy the item.

1. The first item is the Little People Disney Princess Songs Palace. You can buy this for $38.99 from Target. My sister got this for Isabella for Christmas and she absolutely loves it! It comes disassembled with clear instructions and was relatively easy to put together. It comes with batteries, stickers and 2 princesses (Cinderella and Snow White). You can also buy separate princesses that work with the palace. That link is a common set of them that you can purchase that she also got for Isabella. Once put together, this toy is very sturdy. We regularly keep it on a table in the middle of the toy room so the younger babies can stand around it and still play with it. Silas will usually attempt to pull it off the table onto the floor and several times it has fallen and remained intact. The flags on the top of the castle are attached to larger pieces and so are not in jeopardy of being swallowed, but they do regularly come off of the castle. Isabella uses them as a cup for her play kitchen. They love the elevator and the different pieces that move around. If you put in the batteries there is a noise that is played when the doors open and there are specific noises per each Princess that are made. There don’t appear to be any small parts once assembled that could be presented as a choking hazard. If any pieces come loose, I could see potential for choking but we haven’t had any issues.  As usual use caution when small children play with any toys.   

2. The next toy is made by Circo from Target and is their Medical Care Kit. It is $15.49 at our local Target store. Isabella is enamored with a show on Disney Jr called Doc McStuffins. She is an animated child that plays doctor on her toys and stuffed animals. I saw this kit and knew that it would be perfect for her. It comes in a sturdy clear plastic case. I say that because it can support Silas’s weight of about 23-24lbs. He regularly uses it as a step stool to climb onto the couch. It is a 10 piece set of doctor’s tools including stethoscope, 2 hard casts, 2 soft bandages, syringe, tweezers, blood pressure cuff, thermometer, and a modified otoscope (that thing doctor’s look in your eyes and ears with.) Isabella loves these items and now plays doctor on all of her dolls and stuffed animals. I have to issue a warning on this toy though that with very little force my husband was able to remove the ‘pump’ part from the blood pressure cuff. A small amount of super glue though was able to keep the pump in place and served as a small modification that makes the toy useable by all children in my house. Also, be advised that the thermometer includes a small battery (you can’t easily access so there shouldn’t be any cause for concern that it would be swallowed without removing several screws.) I say that because the battery helps the thermometer make this SUPER annoying beeping sound that happens anytime the child pushes the button on the outside. You might want to consider removing that battery in case you like being driven insane by beeping children’s toys. Also, the tweezers could potentially be seen as a choking hazard if your child puts items into their mouth. Silas regularly does and he could easily swallow those if unsupervised.

        

3. Any parent who has a little girl can vouch for me when I say that we have too many babies around our house. There are naked baby dolls all over our house. We have several Circo brand baby dolls. They are from Target and are less than $10 I think. They come with a single outfit which is a one piece outfit and a shirt. They are easy to remove and put back on for kids. Some of them come with a hat as well. You can also buy separate outfits and accessories for these dolls. We also have an American Girl Bitty Baby. This is a more expensive version of those same dolls. The arms and legs are still a harder plastic type material with a cloth body. It comes with an outfit, a tiny bear and a book for $55. We ordered ours through the actual American Girl website where we also bought another outfit as an accessory as it was on clearance. I would recommend this doll for older children because the doll and accessories are rather expensive. All in all she loves these babies. She sleeps in her crib with most of these babies every night.  Like most toddlers, she prefers the cheap version over the expensive one, so keep that in mind when buying toys, especially dolls.  They will be more interested in the box or the wrapping than the actual toy.   

4. Our next toy on the list is the Fisher-Price Soothe & Glow Seahorse. You can literally almost buy this toy anywhere. It retails for $14.97 at Walmart. I heard many good reviews about this toy before I had children and so it seemed like a no-brainer when I was pregnant. This seahorse was amusing when she was born and younger baby, but she wasn’t necessarily attached to it. She didn’t really care for it until she moved into her own room. Then it became a part of her night-time comfort routine. We bought a second one for Silas when he was born and he doesn’t care for it. It eventually migrated into Isabella’s crib and it remains there even today. If she doesn’t have both seahorses available to her at all times while sleeping she freaks out. For anyone who is unfamiliar, this is about a foot long plush seahorse that upon pressing the belly plays music and lights up for five minutes. It plays soft music and lullabies. This is an inexpensive toy that lasts a long time that most babies love. I would recommend this to any new parents.

5. Meemaw bought Silas this next toy for his first birthday. It is the Little Tykes Handle Haulers Deluxe Farm Truck. You can buy this from Walmart for $14.99. This is a super neat toy that looks like a big farm truck. The back end of the truck can be let down so the animals can get out. It comes with a cow and a pig. There is a handle in the back of the truck that has a button that, when pressed, plays music and farm sounds. All the kids play with this truck a lot. Silas loves the music that it plays and he runs that truck all over the house. It is durable as well – it has fallen off shelves numerous times and never broken.

6. One of our most used toys is the B. Wheeee-ls! Soft Cars. These are $15.99 from Target. We have two of these cars in our camper and they are super durable. My son plays with these anytime that we go camping. You can easily wipe down or rinse off the outside. They have been stepped on, kicked around, thrown down, etc. These four cars are made of a super soft plastic material that is easy for little hands to grab on to. These are the kind of cars that you can pull back and release and they roll forward on their own. My son absolutely loves these cars and we would definitely repurchase if they carried more of them at our local Target.

7. Next is the Choo Choo Wagon by Step2. This is single-handedly the coolest toy that my parents have. It’s a wagon that has several different compartments for the children to sit in instead of one big area like a normal wagon. You can connect ‘trailers’ to the back for extra seating. The wagon itself can be bought here for $99.99 + shipping with just two separate cars. Each car comes with a built in cup holder, and a bench with a seat belt. The cars are tall enough so the kids are up off the ground but short enough where the kids can easily climb in and out themselves. Each car can hold a max of 50lbs. My kids absolutely love this toy. If we could stand to pull them around for hours at a time they would gladly ride in this the entire time. We take this wagon every time that we go camping and they love being pulled around all day. We get a lot of compliments on this wagon. We have seen several around town with different families and it seems to be very durable.

8. Earlier this year, my mom purchased a plastic rocking dog for her house and after seeing how well both of the kids loved it we decided that we needed to get one for our house. Corry found the Little Tykes Rocking Horse in blue. You can buy it from Walmart for $29.99. My kids absolutely love this rocking horse. It’s low to the ground so they can easily get on and off of it. I would imagine that if they rock too far back that they would be able to flip this over while they were on it, but it would take some effort and with proper supervision you should be able to see this happening. There is a lip on the front and the back that seems to act as a deterrent to being able to flip the horse over. Another warning – both of my kids use the seat as a step to get up on the couch, try to climb on different items around our house, or just to stand up on the horse itself. This can be dangerous if your children are unsteady and they can easily fall and potentially hurt themselves. We have also used this toy both indoors and out and it works just as well on grass as it does on carpet. It’s super lightweight and provides hours of entertainment for any age group.

9. The next item is the Graco Room Full of Fun Baby Doll Playset in the multi dot pattern. We got this as a gift for Isabella for Christmas to use with her millions of dolls in our house. It comes with a pack-n-play, stroller, high chair, pacifier, teether and toy. You can still buy the same set for $34.99 from Toys R Us. It comes disassembled and requires a bit of finesse to get it assembled, but that seems to be the same with any child’s toy. The pack-n-play is the perfect size for several dolls – ours is now currently being used as storage for the other baby products. Several things that I dislike about this toy – one is that it is very difficult for my children to put Isabella’s dolls into the stroller and the high chair. The holes for the doll’s legs are small and they can’t always get the dolls out once they get them in. The second thing that I dislike is that the high chair will not stay together. The legs are forever coming out of their places and my husband had to end up super gluing them all in place. Same thing with the high chair tray – it comes off super easy and is very difficult for kids to put it back on. This isn’t a gripe, but just a warning – the teether, pacifier and toy are on the smaller side and we had to put them up because they were too small for our other children to play with. With all that being said, my kids love this set. I think that Silas likes it more than Isabella does. He walks the stroller around the house collecting all of his toys in it. They have touched this toy at least once per day every day since we got it for them. This toy is cheaply made but it is definitely worth it for how much they play with it.

10. Last but certainly not least are the various components associated with household items, like a kitchen, vacuum, etc. Who would have known that children love toys that are affiliated with chores so much? My mother made the kids a kitchen (picture on left) from a cabinet that we bought from someone on Craigslist. It was a hit and she did an excellent job! There are a multitude of posts on how to do this on Pinterest as well. With that kitchen, we have had numerous people buy the kids play food, and dishes, and pots and pans for this kitchen. It is awesome and they absolutely love playing with this kitchen. We have since acquired another plastic kitchen that has some different features than the one that my mother made, and they love it. I am not sure of the make or the model of the second kitchen because it was purchased from Craigslist and I don’t want to speculate. We noticed more than a year ago that anytime we vacuumed Isabella would freak out and scream and cry until we were done. We bought her a toy vacuum to hopefully make her more comfortable with the process. She didn’t necessarily care for it when we first brought it home, but now it is a favorite toy of both kids. Silas drags it around all over the house. We bought ours from a toy outlet store for about $30. You can buy one like it here: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3142104 Our kids like this toy because it actually turns on and runs. This was not documented as a feature but it does actually suck dust and small fine items off the floor. Luckily the bucket comes off the front easily and you can fully empty it without an issue. Our last household chore toy that the kids absolutely love is the washer and dryer. This is an older model toy that we bought from Craigslist that comes with an attached washer, dryer and ironing board. The washer and the dryer both have a lid that fully closes and both tubs spin. It is made of a tough plastic material that seems to resist wearing. (insert picture) The kids love that toy and love it especially as a hiding spot for other toys. One of the bonuses is that older kids who come over can play with this group of toys and not feel like they are playing with baby toys.

Hopefully this list is helpful to someone who doesn't have a lot of toys or is a relatively new mom trying to decide what to buy for their child.  I am more than happy to post more in depth reviews on any and/or all of these items. 

What are your child's favorite toys? 

-Sara

Change

Change.  We, as humans, are all in a constant state of change.  Well, not all of us... but anyone who is not 'stuck in a rut' can admit that something about us is always changing, even if it is just the brand of shampoo that we wear or the color of the shirt that we put on in the morning.  Some changes are larger and more important than others.  Often, whether we know it or not at the time, some of the changes that we make affect us for the remainder of our lives.     

Our family is going through some major life changes over the next few months.  I will definitely share more when I can but just know that we are all fine and this is definitely nothing horrible. 

In all of this change going on with our family, it has caused me to evaluate my relationship(s) with my children.  Before I had children, I wondered how a person could love someone the way that people always talked about loving their children.  When I met my husband's kids from a previous marriage, I loved them and, of course, I never wanted anything bad to happen to them.  It was a different kind of love than I expected it to be, but it was real and true.  Unfortunately, as anyone can attest who has step-parents or step-children, that transition is always hard and bumpy in the beginning.  Well, and in the middle, and in the end. 

When I was pregnant with Isabella, I worried that I would love my biological children more than my other kids.  When she was born, I realized that was not true.  It was a different love.  It wasn't more, or less, or even the same.  It was different and that different was all right.  Silas being born reinforced that you don't love all your children the same.  I love all of my children differently and that is ok and expected.  Each one of the four of them is special in their own way, irreplaceable and each one of them has a special piece of my heart.   

I am certainly not advocating that you play favorites between your children or that you would choose one child over the others in any situation ever.   I had a person explain it to me like this in the past:  your love for your children isn't a percentage out of one bucket.  All the love for your children isn't shared; it increases with the addition of each one.  And I feel like this is totally true.

So, the re-evaluation... I am resolving to be nicer.  I am not proud of it but there are days when I yell.  There are days when I tell my children to sit down because they are wanting to tell me something for the 85th time.  There are days when I want my children to nap at the same time so I can have five minutes to myself to listen to the silence.  I don't want there to be a day that goes by that any of my children think that I don't love them or care about them with all of my heart. 

I want to listen when they talk.  No matter how much they talk or how often they talk.  I want to be fully present in the moment with them watching them learn, grow and thrive.  I am super excited to see my eldest daughter start high school (what?!) and youngest son learn to talk this year.

This was not one of my resolutions for this year but it has suddenly become one of the most important things in my life.  I will keep you all updated on our progress through our change and also on our happiness as a family for this year.  Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts for us.   

Stranger Danger

When my daughter was younger, she loved people.  All people.  After a strange encounter with a person we didn't know in Walmart sticking her finger in my daughter's mouth, I began wearing Isabella in the Moby when we shopped.  Even though I wore her a lot in that wrap, we still had people come up to us every time to compliment her on how beautiful of a baby she was.  I know that parents are biased to their babies, but Isabella was a gorgeous baby. 

I had my fears before she was born that, for karma reasons, that we were going to end up with one of those ugly babies that you don't even want to look at because they are so unfortunate looking.  You know the ones that I am talking about... 

Moving on... when people would come up to us to talk to her and compliment her she would smile and show off for them like crazy.  Back then she would let pretty much anyone hold her that we allowed.  She had no problem being passed around if we were at events.  Shortly after Silas was born that all changed...

I am hoping that someone is going to be able to relate to this.  My 2.5 year old has a primal fear now of everyone in the world except for a list of about ten people.  She isn't just a little scared of strangers.  She has a fear to the point of having a panic attack with the 'no breathing' crying.  And it doesn't just have to be people trying to touch her; it can be people who are talking to her from afar, people looking in her direction and talking to someone else, etc. 

I understand that she is scared and, on one hand, I want her to be afraid of strangers because I don't want her to just blindly go with anyone.  However, it would be less embarrassing sometimes if she wouldn't be SO insanely scared.  There are times, especially recently, that she won't even go to either one of my sisters.  There is a list of about ten people that she is never afraid of.  This is a list of both family and non family members, which is weird because I would expect it to only be family or people that we see all the time.

Now, she is initially like this, but she will eventually settle down.  It is getting worse though, so I am trying to take her out more places like those mall play places to get her acclimated to other people, especially other children.  I don't know if it is working or not, but she does seem to be happier now when we show up at those places than when we first started going.  We don't hang out with a lot of people who have kids of similar ages and we realized when Silas and Addison started getting old enough to play with Isabella that she needed to be taught how to act around other kids.  Until then she had been effectively an only child and had no idea how to interact with other kids.  We started taking her to mall play places just to have her around kids.  She didn't originally love it but now she asks for it.  We are making progress. 

I am hoping that we can avoid the crazy 'stranger danger' with Silas because he is the total opposite right now.  I think that, if given the chance, he would leave with strangers and be completely fine.  He can not eat out at restaurants because he is too busy trying to flirt with women at other tables, or trying to wave down people near us, etc.  He loves talking to people and when people talk to him.  He really is ultimately super happy if there is at least one person talking to him and he will show off completely for anyone. 

Has anyone else been through this and have any suggestions on how to move past it? 

Toys multiply while we sleep

Before Isabella was born we had already purchased enough clothes to outfit Octomom's brood.  We had all the baby gear in place months before she arrived.  Her closet and bedding was all washed and prepared at least two months before she was born.  We had even gone to two consignment sales before her birth but we had very few toys. 

I will have to admit that I was a bit lost about how and when to acquire toys.  I saw them in the store but I wasn't sure about what you needed when and if you just bought some and went with it.  I had always heard the old adage that kids are going to love the boxes more than the toys (which is completely true!) so I knew that I didn't want to waste a lot of money on toys.  I knew that in the first few weeks she was just going to be a sloth and so I wasn't super worried about having toys on hand and I figured that we would just buy some as we went along. 

Fast forward two and a half years and we have more toys than we know what to do with.  Blocks, fake food, Little People (which is the oddest name brand for toys, I think), Lego's, toy cars, books, etc. all run amok in our toy room.  One of the big selling points of this house that we live in is the extra room off the front door that specifically holds toys.  In our last house we didn't have a dedicated space just for toys and it just felt like we were being over run by toys in all rooms of our house.  Since we were downsizing with this house, I knew that we would want an area that was just for toys.  

Here's another small item that they don't tell you before having a baby: if you leave toys out over night, they will multiply while you are sleeping.  Just ask anyone who has stepped on a Lego or a block in the dark.  You thought there were only a few and you could miss them but no.  Corry has this favorite picture that he laughs about - something about stepping on a Lego and winning a krumping contest.  This phenomenon doesn't exist anywhere else in nature.  I swear if I don't completely pick up the toys at night, when I wake up in the morning it feels like the kids played with the toys all night. 

My kids are at that age where they are capable of picking up their toys, but it gets done faster and much more efficient if I just do it.  I mentioned that I need to work on patience, right?  My sanity at the end of the day is saved if I just wait until they go to bed and then clean up the living room and our bedroom.  Well, at least clean the toys up and make it look like Hurricane Toddler(s) didn't just come storming through the house.  I don't know when they drag out some of these toys or when they get certain toys in certain places.  Just this evening when I was going to start the bath water I noticed a My Little Pony in the bathtub and a bath time letter underneath our bed.  Sometimes I can't help but wonder when they get all of this out.  I know that the house is semi-picked up when my mom leaves when we get home, but in the few hours before they go to bed the entire house is turned upside down some nights.   

As a bonus though I have discovered a new source of fun.  Picking up the toys at night has become like a game to me.  It's kind of like carrying all the groceries in from the car in one trip.  You know that it's ridiculous and that you look like you belong in an insane asylum while you are trying it, but you just HAVE to try and see if you can get it all in one trip.  I try to see how much stuff that I can carry to the toy room at the same time without dropping anything.  I guess this is the 'fun' that I have as a parent.  Don't judge...

Bathtime = necessary?

I despise giving my children a bath. Not necessarily the thought behind it because yes, I want my children clean and yes, I want them to have a healthy relationship with bathing and water in general, but the actual act of bathing my children is my absolute most hated chore. I will go on record and say that I would rather change 25 poopy diapers right in a row than bathe my kids. I think that if we could rectify a few things bath time would go a lot smoother:

1. My son has a "thing" about bubbles. He is 1. My daughter loved bubbles at that age. Most kids love them. He hates them. Or is scared of them. We haven't narrowed it down. Maybe it's because he knows that inevitably his sister is going to pour bubbles over his head and face the entire bath time and he just doesn't want bubbles in his mouth. He screams if he sees them and she screams if she takes a bath without them. You already can't win and you are not even in the tub yet.

2. Both kids love to splash. I know what you are thinking. "I have seen cute videos of kids on YouTube splashing in the bathtub and it is so cute!!" Wrong. Tiny baby splashing is cute. Toddler splashing is a flooded bathroom if you aren't careful. Any splashing at our house usually ends up with either me or my husband soaked from outside of the tub + at least one child acting like they are drowning because the other got water in their face.

3. Both kids become deaf as soon as they hit the water. This doesn't bode well for swim lessons or being around the water in the future. We don't let our kids stand up in the bathtub. I don't allow it because our tubs are slippery on the bottom and I don't want them falling and busting their lips open. My husband, I would assume, has the same reasoning. We haven't ever talked about it but I overhear him saying "Do not stand up in the tub" like 9 million times while they are bathing so I know that he has the same rule. Even though they hear the rules every time that they take a bath, it is still like a new time every time they get a bath. Do not splash and do not stand up get repeated at least 90 times a piece during a 30 minute bath. My husband and I are not well known for our patience so you can imagine how this goes.

If it wasn't socially unacceptable I think that I would just spray them down with a garden hose outside.

My 2 year old needs help

So over a year ago, before my daughter was a year old, she learned how to unlock an iPhone.  We thought it was funny and super neat... kind of like a cool party trick.  We took videos of this and encouraged her to do it.  If we would have known then what we know now, we might have thought different about teaching her that. 

She started off just wanting to just look at different things on your phone... pictures, videos, your text messages... nothing really big.  She would call random people (ask Lake Worth 911) and sometimes send crazy text messages but on the whole she just wanted to hold the phone.  Then she started wanting to play games and actually do things with your apps.  We started downloading 'baby apps' on our phones to keep her interested.  My mom downloaded this awesome app on her phone (my favorite apps for toddlers is an upcoming blog post) and she loved watching that app.  This was like a gateway drug - she wanted more and more time with your phone and would throw fits if you took it away and didn't distract her.   

When Corry and I got upgrades on our iPhones last year, we decided that we should give Isabella Corry's old iPhone to be 'Isabella's phone'.  It effectively works as an iPod Touch.  She can do all of the normal functions on her phone that you and I can do but she can't make phone calls or send text messages.  We downloaded a bunch of toddler apps, removed all of the important information (in case she lost it) and put a cover on it to make it harder for her to break it or damage it in water.   

A 2 year old with an iPhone... is this the best idea?  Definitely not.  Do I regret it?  Sometimes... there are some days when it is super helpful to have a way to distract her when we are on long car rides, or when she is acting up.  There are other days when I get tired of hearing "where's my shone (phone)?" 

As much as I regret giving her their own phone, there are a lot of pluses that have come from our decision.  We download mostly educational apps on her phone, so while she is playing she is actually learning.  She has apps that reinforce the ABC's, animals, colors, shapes, etc.  She does have a few apps that will stream cartoon shows from Disney Jr, or PBS but the majority of those teach good lessons for children so I don't feel as bad about them - it's not like Spongebob or anything like that. 

She uses her phone, I think, more than I use my phone.  And probably better than I use my phone.  She can put the phone in Airplane mode, she can change the ring tone and turn the sound up or down in settings.  She can change the background picture of the phone, take pictures and videos, play pictures and videos, lock the phone and shut it down.  She tells you when her phone is dead, that it needs to be charged and she can plug it in (supervised). 

Some people are upset by this because she is too involved with electronics.  Most people are amused by it because she is so little and such a good user of a phone.  I think that it's still cute and funny.  We use it as a learning tool now for her.  It has helped her in more ways than hurt her so we are willing to continue to let her have it.  If you think that it's bad just take a look at the cutest picture ever taken by my sister Jessica at our most recent Creecy Christmas - Isabella and her cousins Raquel (left) and Addison (right) and tell me it isn't the cutest thing you have ever seen. 

 

 

- Sara

An open letter to weirdos

Dear strange people,

Hey you!  Yes, you.  The creepy guy who just approached me in the Target parking lot and asked how we were enjoying the weather.  And you - the old lady who just put your finger in my child's mouth in Walmart.  And finally you - the insane waitress at Red Hot and Blue who took my child's photo to show her boyfriend what she wanted her kids to look like.  Yes, all of you.  This is a letter to you. 

I know my children are 100% adorable.  They are (mostly) well behaved in public places.  My daughter eats with utensils like a pro, uses a napkin, says please, thank you and excuse me when appropriate and says bye to people leaving by our table.  She can walk in stores without being a pest and can be calmed down with any distraction.  My son is a shameless flirt with anyone and everyone with a heartbeat who will show him any bit of attention.  He is a good eater, even in public and can be quieted down with a pacifier. 

I say all of that to let you know that just because they don't throw constant tantrums, are cute, and look in your direction doesn't mean that you should be a complete and total weirdo.  Based on your recent behavior, it has become obviously apparent to me that I need to address some 'to do's' and 'don'ts' when it comes to your behavior and other people's children.  (None of this applies to your own children.  Feel free to act totally like a weirdo around them.) 

To Do:

1. Do ASK before getting anywhere near my children.  I never really understood this before having children but since my kids were born I now understand the 'momma bear' mentality and I do not want strangers near my children or near me when I have my children.  I don't want you approaching us when I am getting them into or out of the car for any reason.  I don't want you to distract me for any reason while I am alone with my children because even though you might be totally innocent, in my head I am replaying all the news stories that I have heard recently about children being kidnapped or trying to memorize your facial features while you talk to be able to describe you to police later.  Also, especially during the cold and flu season, I don't want you or your gross germs in my family's air space.  Back up.  I was never a person who spoke to strangers before I was married and had kids and certainly am not willing to start that now.   
2. Do act like a goof.  I don't care if you smile, wave, make a dumb face, tell a story, dance like a monkey, whatever you want to do to entertain my child or get them to look at you, so long as it's from a distance.  My son will put on a show and do every 'trick' that he knows in the book to get attention from strangers and I appreciate the older people who indulge him in restaurants and in stores.  Even tonight, he waved at other patrons, servers and the cleaning crew at the restaurant like he was an air traffic controller bringing down a plane.  He has a good time and you can have a good time without me feeling uncomfortable.       
3. Do understand that sometimes kids don't want attention and that's OK.  Sometimes my kids are in what I call the "stranger danger zone" and they don't want you to talk to them or try to get their attention.  If that is the case, please don't try to convince them otherwise.  Just accept like kids aren't going to be "on" 24 hours a day.  They just wake up from naps... their favorite cartoon wasn't on TV today... they didn't get to watch the movie that they wanted to in the car.  You continuing the try to engage them is tiring for them and for me.  Please don't force them to try to interact with you.  That just makes my life suck for the next ten minutes trying to get them to calm down and not be freaked out that you are going to come by and try to talk to them again. 

Don't:

1. Don't ever touch my child... ever.  I swear, when my children were infants, anytime I took my them out people felt the need to touch them.  It didn't matter if we were in the grocery store, restaurants, public bathrooms, etc. there was always someone trying to touch them.  I finally started wearing my daughter in a Moby wrap after an elderly woman put her fingers in my daughter's mouth for her to use a chew toy.  I never thought about touching anyone else's children so I never understood this.  Whatever germs you have are now transferred to my child and I would prefer that to not happen again in the future.  I should have had one of those signs about not touching my kid on their stroller.  This is a cute one from http://happysignsurprise.com     
2. Don't be afraid to look at them but don't be creepy.  I like when people compliment my children.  They like when you compliment them.  I was fine with you walking by like 19 extra times since you were our server and I need extra things since I have two small children.  But when you came up to us and asked if you could take a picture of our child because you wanted your boyfriend to see what you wanted your children to look like.. that was a bit strange. 
3. This should go without saying, but don't be gross.  Don't try to get anything off of my child with your spit.  Don't try to stick your fingers in my child's mouth so they can use them as a chew toy.  Don't offer to share your food and drink with my child because they won't know any better.  

In closing, please just use your brain around any children that aren't yours. 

Sincerely,

me and any other parent

- by the way -
this is based on actual events over the last two years