Wardrobe suggestions for today's woman

So, special thanks to Sarah for inspiring this blog.  Well, not inspiring it, because none of these tips are directed towards her, more so she posted this little gem to my wall and it completely made me want to write this.  I will admit that I had to pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard first, but then all I wanted to do was write a blog about this. 

Lately, I have noticed that women might need a few suggestions when deciding what to wear in the mornings.  This isn't meant to be an exhaustive list.  I know that I will forget something and I will make at least one more part. 

1. Just as the picture implies... shorter is not always better.  There is another funny picture out there that says if you have to ponder whether it is a shirt or a dress, it is always a shirt.  Short shorts or super short skirts look good on about 4% of the world's population, and as sad as it is to admit this the majority of that 4% is not American, not a mother, and not over the age of 25.  I am not saying that you have to wear shorts down to your knees or even Bermuda shorts, just have some self respect.  No one wants to see you dig shorts out of any inappropriate place(s) and if you have to worry that your underwear is showing from the legs of your shorts, you need longer shorts.  Also, no one needs to see the bottom of your butt cheeks in your shorts.  If you can't bend over without auditioning for a porn, you need to change. 
2. Being on the 'People of Walmart' list is not a positive accomplishment.  My husband and I have noticed recently that people are going out in public without looking to ensure that all of their body parts are covered appropriately by clothing or that they are even wearing decent clothes.  Or it appears they are purposely trying to get on that list.  If you have seen the pictures, you (hopefully) know that you should use it as an 'Items Not to Wear' list instead of a guidebook for acceptable outfits.  Yes, it's funny and a great stress relief to look at what some people deem as acceptable shopping attire, but you getting caught on that list is not going to go on your resume.  And someday your children are going to be super red faced when they figure out that woman who forgot pants or the man in the thong is really their parent.   
3. It's called a bra.  All ladies over the age of 13 or so should wear one when going out in public.  Every.  Time.  This is inexcusable, especially if you are older or have had children.  Let's face it - boobs sag when they get older.  We don't even want to see it on our own bodies, let alone the bodies of strangers.  Side note: a bra goes under your clothes.  If you can see more than the straps of your bra accidentally, you should wear a different shirt, or a different bra, or both.  I understand that some people think that bra straps are cute, but for the majority of people it isn't.  It's sad and gross and creepy. 
4. This one is a touchy one but I say it with love.  Just because you can make it fit doesn't mean that you should wear it.  There are some items of clothing that should only be sold up to like a size 8.  The people who make those items of clothing for people bigger than that don't care how ridiculous we all look wearing that, they just want to sell it.  I am not saying that if you are over a size 8 that you need to wear a mu mu; I'm just saying that women my size have no business wearing a micro mini skirt.  Or ridiculously tight spandex yoga pants.  Be honest with yourself about how you look in clothes.  I am freely admitting that I have laid down on the bed at some point in my life to make my pants zip and button.  I am also freely admitting at this point that I looked awful in said pants and look much better now that I wear clothes that are an appropriate fit for my body shape.  To take an item of clothing that is ideally meant for a smaller size and make it larger often times makes the proportions off and you end up with shorter than appropriate sleeves or torso length, etc.  This topic also applies to people who want desperately to fit into a size of clothing that they are not.  I say it again: just because you can make it fit doesn't mean that you should wear it.  If you have to undo your pants on the way home and it's not Thanksgiving, you need to wear a bigger size. 

Those are my current top 4 issues.  Apparently they are not as common sense as I would like to think.  What ridiculous have you seen recently?