Going to bed angry is ok

So I love my husband all of the time.  100% of the time.  However, there are snippets of time that I want to punch my husband in the face.  There are probably more times than that where he feels the same way about me.  I know that I am a difficult spouse.  I still love him during those times but I might not like him very much.  I think that happens with any marriage, right?  Hopefully, you're saying yes, or else I seem like a jerk. 

Last night was one of those nights.  I will admit that I tend to get crankier and crankier as the week goes on because of lack of sleep and stress of my job.  I won't get into what specifically happened last night because I don't generally like to talk about my marriage problems publicly and partially because it was a stupid fight that didn't  mean anything.  It isn't an ongoing thing and it wasn't major. 

Common marriage advice from a long time ago was to never go to bed angry.  I don't know the exact justification behind this advice but I tend to follow exactly the opposite.  I would rather just go to bed and chill out and talk about it the next day then fight it out while it is happening.  Perhaps you aren't supposed to go to bed angry because you will forget about what happened or have a tendency to bury your emotions or something like that.  I think that you talk the next day or the next few days about the real issues and don't bring dumb emotions into the picture.  Chances are good that by the time that you talk to your partner about the fight that you are done with the initial anger/hurt/etc and you are able to just talk about the issues.  At least, this is what happens with me and Corry. 

Compared to the "average" couple, Corry and I rarely fight.  We have stupid arguments but in general we never fight.  Usually the next day one or both of us are over it and able to move on.  There are things that we both do that agitate the other one but we are able to talk through some of those issues like adults.  I still think that every so often we should be able to use those Sock 'em Bopper toys on each other to resolve fights.   There could be something said for that kind of physical release. 


If I had to give newlyweds one piece of advice it would be to not try to force other couple's relationship advice work for you.  Some couples remain together by being together all the time like these couples from my job.  They drive back and forth to work together, go to lunch together and work in similar departments.  I need a separation from my spouse in order to maintain that closeness.  I don't know if that makes sense but it makes sense to me.  I need a separate work life from my home life.  It's the same logic for why I think that I could never work from home full time.  What works for other couples doesn't have to work for you.  Make your own love rules. 

-Sara