You're on the list!

I had to wait to write this blog until I wasn't the least bit upset about anything because I didn't want it to turn into a blog of just straight blind hatred.  I have been working on it for a few nights now and I hope that it doesn't make me sound like a total rage-a-holic.  If it does, I will be expecting the men in white coats and padded cells to show up at work tomorrow for me.   

At work a few months ago we began talking about there being that one person (or a few people if you were me) that you would get rid of if you had the chance.  This isn't one of those things where you would call them up in the middle of the night and threaten them mob style with a decapitated horse's head in their bed or anything crazy.  Frankly, this is mostly just for your own personal satisfaction - kind of like when married people have a "cheat list" with celebrities.  You know that it wouldn't ever happen, but it's amusing to think about.   

This could be as simple as the person who constantly lets his dogs poop in your yard.  Or that person in front of you on the freeway who is going 49 in a 65 in the fast lane.  Or your husband's ex wife.  Or it could be as simple as the project leader who calls on you to explain an issue that you raised during a meeting.  Can't he see that you are busy buying stuff on eBay on your iPhone?   

To further this idea, it was decided that there should be a warning to someone who was either on the list or in jeopardy of being on the list.  I guess, in case that person cared about attempting to stay on your good side.  'You're on the list!' became the afore mentioned warning.  It sounds grim and borderline inappropriate, but trust me, with some people it's totally necessary. 

I will admit that the majority of the time when I use that phrase is at work to avoid having an adult sized temper tantrum.  I used to smoke cigarettes and that was my release.  Anytime that someone or something upset me I would go downstairs, smoke, gossip about the new couple at work, and feel better.  Then I quit.  What was I supposed to do with all this pent up rage that isn't expelled anymore with the nicotine and 10,000 other harmful chemicals... Now I use humor; sometimes dark, but always funny.  Enter the warning.  The warning, at that point, is more reassurance for me instead of a serious warning for the other person.

Close your eyes, count to 10 and whisper 'You're on the list'...